Hujung minggu lepas aku terlepas dua majlis perkahwinan... majlis pertama, majlis kawan seasrama dan majlis kedua, majlis ad3ck yang kebetulan merupakan kawan suami ex-opismet aku. Tahniah untuk kedua-dua pasangan, moga berbahagia ke akhirnya...
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Semalam opismet aku dah selamat melahirkan bayi perempuan... terkujat skit sebab sebelum ni dia bagitau scan nampak lelaki... takpe la, yang penting kedua-duanya selamat. Hari ni pulak terima sms dari kawan sekolah aku, dia pun dah selamat bersalin... baby girl jugak.
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Alhamdulillah, tumpang gembira untuk mereka...
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Errr tiba-tiba rasa blues pulak... yela, di saat yang lain sedang bahagia membina kehidupan masing-masing, aku masih merangkak-rangkak mencari hala tuju... orang lain umur camni dah ada master bagai, aku baru terhegeh-hegeh nak mengabiskan degree, study bertahun-tahun tak abis-abis... cam loser giler!
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Bila 'rasa yang terasa' muncul, aku selalu duk ingatkan diri yang semua yang berlaku ada hikmahnya... mesti ada sebab kenapa perjalanan hidup aku camni dan bukannya camtu...
.Bak kata Steve Job...
"Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college, but it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards, so you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something--your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever--because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart, even when it leads you off the well-worn path, and that will make all the difference..Sometimes life's going to hit you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love, and that is as true for work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work, and the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking, and don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it, and like any great relationship it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking. Don't settle.".
Errr nak ikutkan takde la 'rasa yang terasa' sangat pun. Buat masa ni masih menikmati singlehood dengan bahagianya. Sebenarnya aku lebih tertekan dan sangat terasa dari segi akademik je. Rasa cam pelajar tercicir plak, heh!
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Mungkin skang ni aku tak nampak hikmah 'kesusahan' yang aku hadapi skang. Kerana kalau aku toleh 10 tahun yang lepas, aku hanya nampak penyesalan... mungkin beberapa tahun akan datang bila aku toleh kembali ke saat ini dan reflect balik, then at that time it will make sense why this had happended instead of that...
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Apa pun perjuangan mesti terus... pelan-pelan kayuh beb!
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Have a faith!

7 comments:
have faith with your own destiny. we didn't live the same life so dont expect our life to be the same with others.
caiyuk caiyuk :D
oit oit... layan je... :P
eheh!
terasa ai tau!
ai pun baru jer abis degree. orang lain? ada yang dah abis phd dah pung huhuhuhu
apa yg jadi pada kita tu sbnrnye itu yg terbaik utk kita.. huhuhuu
chaiyoookk~
nick ~ err i don't really expect or hope my life would be same as others.. it just, it goes out of my expectation.. a lil bit frustated! but now i do have faith that this would be best for me and things will be better.. insya-Allah.. :)
mak su ~ yea.. chaiyok! p(^_^)q
pa'chik ~ layannnnnn.. zas! ;p
kak khairyn ~ opsss.. x berniat.. ;)
at least akak dah abis.. best2.. x sabar saya nak abis.. :D
kak masy ~ tu la kan.. skang ni je tak nampak ke'terbaik'annya lagi..
chaiyokkkkkk! \(^_^)/
aku yg dah bertahun2 tak beranak ni rasa loser gak...
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